************************************************************************** Short Story By Mike Baharmast 1-94 From a book of short stories titled "Untruly Funny Stories" For more, see "README.TXT" ************************************************************************** Funny Dreams, this is an actual dream I had Scene: Mr. Melman is dead, a funeral procession is approaching the cemetery unaware that the Grave Diggers Union had just gone on strike. Rabbi: What are all those people doing? Driver: Grave Digger Union is on strike, this is a union cemetery. Rabbi: What? What do you mean? Driver: Yeah. Worst yet you're on your own from here. Rabbi: What does that mean? Driver: I mean the Hearse Union drivers are honoring the picket line. Rabbi: So what are we supposed to do? Driver: I guess you got to carry it the rest of the way yourselves. It's just through the gate and up the hill. Rabbi: This is unbelievable. I didn't know there was such a thing as a union cemetery. Driver: Yeah, Pine ridge is non union, this is union, Bethlehem is union. So, in total disbelief, the Melman family and friends get out of the cars and discus the situation amongst themselves. They think about going to Pine Ridge but figure crashing a cemetery unannounced for a funeral is probably a bad idea. So they decide that they have no choice but to go through with it. So they grab the coffin and proceed through the gate. Meanwhile the strikers are shouting at them and calling them scabs and such. Once they get to the top of the hill and to the spot the conversation goes like this: Rabbi: OK now what? Funeral Director: Dig I guess! Rabbi: What, we're supposed to dig the grave? Director: Well, yeah the diggers are on strike? Rabbi: I thought you used a back hoe to dig graves? Director: Can you run a back hoe? Rabbi: No, I'm Rabbi for pete's sake what do I know about back hoes!! Director: It's shovels then I guess. Mrs. Melman: We're supposed to dig our own grave with shovels, is that what you're telling me? Director: Well Mam this is the situation. I don't know what else to tell you. So, with much disbelief and grumbling they proceed to dig. And that's when I woke up from that dream. I do wonder what happened next though.